Hi Ladies!!!

Happy almost holidays!!

Here is #4 on my Top 10 List of comments and questions single ladies despise but often get from the peanut gallery e.g. friends, family and the general public. I hope you are enjoying them and I would love your comments!

Oh Ken, you're perfect!

4. QUESTION: “WHAT KIND OF GUY ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?”

This question makes me sigh out of sheer frustration. Single women want the same things for the most part, so to tell someone you want someone nice, funny, good-looking with a decent job sounds so obvious and trite. It sounds boring just writing it. Maybe the fact that I want someone educated and on the taller side would be REALLY unusual, but I doubt it. But it’s the truth. (And it’s what I got). Sure, some people might be deadset on someone Jewish or have a gag reflex for bald men, but single ladies have long learned that you can’t ask for too many specifics because your friends will get annoyed and then never set you up because you’re too picky (see #5 comment in the next blog). Plus, you never know when that really goofy-looking guy just happens to be the one who steals your heart (it happened to one of my friends).

So if we know what we are all looking for, then why do people ask the obvious – why why WHY? Don’t they know I have better things to do like talk to the dog? Are they expecting us to say something weird like “I want a count from a foreign land who has a castle and likes to wear plaid pants and has a jet and is a water polo player and shags like a stallion.” Do they honestly think we are looking for a man that doesn’t exist? When asked this question, I would love to reply “Well, what I’m really looking for is a fat, selfish, out of work hairy man, preferably an alcoholic who has no ambition or interests – the kind of guy who would never think to buy a girl flowers, even if he was a millionaire. Oh, and if he can have a flatulence problem and a low IQ, that would be REALLY great.” The look on their faces when I said this would be so satisfying. Or even more dramatic when asked what kind I want is to say “At this point in my dating career, at the point of desperation, I’m just hoping for someone who has all of their limbs and doesn’t smell too bad.” Boy would THAT get a fun reaction!

Maybe I’ll try it out. Another funny response would be to give them a really descriptive answer: “He should be 6’2, 43 years old, no tattoos, wear Oxford shirts, have short brown hair and blue eyes, and his name should begin with a D.” Now try to match that will ya!

Ladies, when asked this asinine question, you can simply answer  “I’m a fun gal so I’m willing to meet anyone. You never know.” Or just say “I don’t know. Whatchou got?” thereby putting them on the spot. Happy days.