Did you survive Monday? Me too!
I was at a BBQ over the weekend and was talking to this really great lady who is a good friend of the host. She was telling me this story of how her friend found out her real age and was mad that she had lied to her. I asked her ‘Why did you lie about your age?” “Well,,,,” she started. “How old are you?” she asked me. “42,” I replied – too quickly and too confidently for her, I’m sure.
“Well, I’m 44 and I just don’t FEEL my age,” she said.
I’m sorry but what’s with people wanting to be a different age? I understand aging sucks and I also understand that you may not FEEL 45 but guess what? You ARE 45, or whatever age you are. Nothing will change that. No matter what you try, you are the age you are, so why not grow some balls and own it people?! My mentee turned 22 and it almost killed her! Oh, the whining I had to endure – “I can’t believe I’m 22! That’s soooo old!” Yeah, well, try another 20 years on that my dear. Now dry your eyes and enjoy your youth.
I do not understand why people live in denial, as if lying about their age will create this cosmic effect where you actually will become the young age you aspire to be. I don’t care that people know I’m 42. So what? I don’t think I look 42 and I definitely don’t act 42. I am WAY too immature. But I am, in fact. 42. I don’t WANT to be 42, but I am. Believe me, I have tried to trick my brain into believing that I am another age. I actually thought I was 41 last month. “A good friend of mine asked me my age (she had forgotten) and I said “41….wait, no,42….wait…41?” I guess we both forgot my age. She asked my date of birth and the super sleuth, genius that my friend is confirmed that I am, in fact 42. Thank God we got THAT figured out!! She must have thought I was nuts. I had to actually reconfirm when I got home and use the calculator and find out that yes, indeed, I am 42. The truth of the matter is, I don’t think about my age much. And neither should you. But once you do figure out how old you are, just be that age. Denial is a lonely place and you will waste a lot of energy trying to change the truth.
For me to pretend to be, say 38 is just stupid, in my opinion. What good does it do? I understand that some actors or models must lie about their age because there is this thing called Ageism that is prevalent in our society and can be a great hurdle in people’s perception of you as a spring chicken. But for us regular people, if you are going to lie at a job interview, or to a date, I have news for you – THEY WILL EVENTUALLY FIND OUT and then you will just look like a vain, insecure shmuck.
I love when people say “I’m 52, but I FEEL like I’m 40.” Yeah, well, I FEEL like rolling my eyes and telling you that you are an idiot. In fact, I will. And I LOVE the trendy marketing sayings “30 is the new 20.” No, it is not. This is marketing. Smoke and mirrors. You know what 30 is? 30.
This woman at the BBQ is in terrific shape, by the way. She is thin, fit and attractive. She has a husband and 2 kids so she can’t use the excuse of a cougar on the prowl for playing the age guessing game. I wish she would just own up to it and wear her age with pride. And lying to friends?? Tssk tssk – they can’t be good friends if you have to lie to them.
This is how I feel now. Who knows – maybe I will be one of those crazy old ladies, wearing low-rise jeans and tank tops at age 60, trying to tell everyone I am 40. God, I hope not. Note – if this does happen, please slap me a couple of times and yell in Cher like (a la “Moonstruck”) style, “Snap out of it!”