What’s new with you?!
Want to know what’s new with me? Well, if you haven’t noticed, my blog has been all screwy. Like, possessed. As in, a big ol’ crappy, messy pile of poop. Apparently, the server which held my site, and many others, crashed. They tried to explain this to me, but it sounded like science fiction, kind of like as if somewhere, deep in space, there is a Death Star-like planet that held my website and these others in capsules (think “Aliens”) and then the bad guys, who I imagine to look something like a cross between the gopher in “Caddyshack” and The Coneheads from Saturday Night Live, attacked and blew up the planet in a lights display that no planetarium laser show or Disneyland could compete with.Yes, furry, penis-shaped aliens are responsible for my blog being F’d up.
Where is Wolverine to come and save me against these bad alien people? Yes, Hugh Jackman, in your sweaty, dirty tank top and cute butt. Where are you???! I would help you, with my super power of the hair whip – yes, my power would be whipping my long, luscious locks which would turn into blades of fury, destroying everything in my path – all to Willow Smith’s song “Whip My Hair” of course.
Doesn’t my story of “How My Blog was Destroyed by Evil” sound entertaining? I must see it this way. I must. Because if I think about the fact that ALL the blogs I have posted since August 10th have vanished in an instant, like hot breath in cold air, well, it scares the shit out of me. It makes me want to crawl into a cave and cry for about a week. But, like Gloria Gaynor says “I Will Survive” and like the Gopher sang “I’m All Right. Nobody’s worried about me.”
We must persevere people. Live on. Walk tall. And I shall. I thank you for your patience and understanding in this difficult time for me.
My finger is pulsing, my hand shaking as I hit “Publish” hoping that this damn blog post works just fine and is sent out into the weird, vast expanse known as the Internet.