I’m having drama – closet drama. It all started last week when my husband pointed out to me that my things were overtaking the top of the dresser. He jokingly suggested that he would clean the garage when I cleaned this avalanche of accessories. I looked at the area and all I could do was admit that the pile of belts, headbands, sunglasses and necklaces had, in fact, oozed out into a giant mass of lava, threatening to destroy the look of the area (our bedroom).
But you see my dear ladies, it’s not my fault. It’s my closet’s fault. I dream of big closets, walk-in closets, closets so large, you can fit a small couch for seating so your friends can sit and sip champagne as you choose your couture. A closet that requires special lighting. Closets in which you can see all of your belongings, just by glancing around without having to move ANYTHING. But I do not know if my dream closet shall ever be realized, and for that, I will pout and be irritated. I know few have the closet of my dreams but I don’t care. I want this closet. I NEED this closet. I should have this closet dammit!
The problem with my closets is that I cannot see all of my things, so I end up wearing the same clothing that is readily available at the beginning of the closet. I do not have the time or the energy to go foraging in my closet for something to wear. I wish I did. But it is a task that requires bravery of which I do not possess. Struggling with one’s closet is one of the worst daily things we women face. I know I sound like a drama queen but I DON’T CARE. You fashionistas know what I’m talking about. You feel my pain. You share my anguish.
The worst of it all is my poor accessories. Lovely, fun, shiny things that are trapped huddled in drawers, lost in piles, never to be worn. Because these accessories are not at simple reach, arranged in a pristine manner, I completely forget that I have them! Just think how much cuter my outfits would be had I been able to open a drawer and choose a necklace from my carefully displayed collection! Imagine the possibilities! People should know about all the chic clothes and accessories I have collected. Sadly, they are deprived. So sad.
When I was working (briefly) with Candy Spelling, I toured her house. The bowling alley, the gift wrapping room, the ginormous living room with the movie screen that appeared from the floor – none of it impressed me. But her DRESSING ROOM – oh my, oh my, oh my!! The display cases! The copious amounts of large, flat drawers that were born to display baubles museum-style just for your daily ensemble. The rows and rows of perfectly placed hangers where not one garment touched another! I still dream of those closets. I have no doubt that Candy planned on some good closet space in her new digs.
My husband likes to offer his insight that if I were to get rid of some clothes and shoes, then I would be able to see my things more clearly. He is wrong! Having a wide assortment of clothing, shoes and accessories allows me to express my style and creativity. It is my therapy. It is my joy. How could he take that from me? HOW?
I hope one day to have a dream closet. If I could see my shoes at eye-level, rather than getting on my hands and knees, digging like some disturbed dog after a bone, I would be a much happier person. I swear I would!
I joke about turning the guest bedroom into a dressing room, but it’s not practical. If we have kids, I have told my husband that they will have to be a nudist because there is no room in the closets for anyone else’s clothes. I am sorry but there just isn’t. I cannot throw away my old ball gowns and super cool 80s outfits. My niece or Goddaughter might wear them one day. How could I deny them this pleasure?!
Until my dream closet materializes, you shall see me in the same outfits and I apologize for that. And the small collection of accessories that I keep within easy reach, on the dresser, will have to remain. I can’t go totally nude, now can I??!!