Howdy Neighborhood Ladies!
I am not a nosy neighbor. I believe that people should do their own thing and live their life. If they want to put 100 pink flamingoes in their yard –fine. Paint their house bright blue – whatever. One thing I love about Southern California is that there are so many areas where you can do what you want. Just drive around Beverly Hills and you will see a Spanish Villa next to a super modern house next to a Colonial next to an Italian Villa. It’s a bit crazy but I like that you can do that. You won’t see that happening back in my ultra-conservative hometown of Boston.
I love my neighborhood! It is truly like Mayberry. Kids, bikes, people walking their dogs, everyone (mostly) saying Howdy Neighbor! But there is ONE NEIGHBOR that is just driving our neighborhood into a disruptive and grumpy state – they are the ones with the barking dogs.
You know who I am talking about – those people who must be deaf because they are the ONLY ones who don’t seem to be bothered by their damn dogs barking non-stop. I work from home and I hear these little f*ckers (sorry but I must use this strong term) ALL DAY LONG. And this is a house that is 5 houses down. Crazy. They leave in the morning for work and just leave the dogs in the side yard to bark their little heads off all the livelong day. The guy who lives behind them is a baker who tries to sleep during the day – he is seriously losing his mind. The guy next to them is retired and did not plan on this racket in his serene life.
Our neighborhood is a good one, the house values are good. The school system is fantastic. Everyone’s yards are well kept. So why oh why do we have this one ghetto neighbor who can’t live like a proper human being?? I have a dog and you don’t hear her barking all day long. Why? Because she isn’t allowed to, my dear. I am a good neighbor.
So, one day, as I am walking by their psycho dogs, I see another neighbor who is looking anguished as well, and we come to the middle of the street and commiserate – that’s how quiet my street is – you can stand in the middle of the street and have a conversation.
We decide enough is enough. Something’s Gotta Give! The plan is for me to write up a petition and she will get the neighbors on her side to sign and I will get mine. Here is the letter I create:
To the residents of:
To whom it may concern,
Your dogs are a nuisance to the neighborhood and seriously affecting the quality of life in our community. This needs to stop. There are many of us who are affected by your dogs’ incessant barking. It is all day long. Eventhough you may be at work, your dogs are here and they are your responsibility.
We have rights as residents on this street and neighborhood to a quiet environment. Dogs barking at the UPS man, other dogs walking by, etc. is normal and completely acceptable by other dog owners. However, your dogs are at the level of manic barking and it is completely annoying.
This is a warning notice. Please take care of your property. If we do not see some action within the next week, we will be forced to alert the local authorities to this noise disturbance.
We got ten signatures and that was without even trying. We could easily get five more. I delivered it today anonymously to their mailbox – they don’t need to know who spearheaded this thing. We’ll see what happens. The word on the street is that they are horrendous people. The guy is an A-hole and the wife seems indifferent. Great.