Hello Ladies!!

Did you have a nice weekend? I did! Glorious.

Do you only see black and white?


I need to plan our second outing with my mentee Violet. She had said she wanted to see “Water for Elephants,” which I want to see as well, but it doesn’t come out for another week. I scour different sites online for something interesting to do. We are meeting in the evening, so maybe a play?

I see an ad for Marlon and Shawn Wayans at the Irvine Improv. I love “White Chicks” and so I am all for it. I wonder if she will be offended that I chose a show with black people. Am I overthinking this stuff??

I get tickets. We decide to eat first. As I walk into the Yard House, again I notice it. There is not ONE black person in this HUGE restaurant. So weird. I lived in New York where you have every color and creed walking by you every 5 minutes. Here at the restaurant, there were Mexicans, Asians, I saw some Indian people and a bunch of mixed relations. But not one black person. Why is that? We walk out after dinner and I see a black family. Thank god. A little diversity.

At the show, I am also amazed. It’s about 90% white people. Now, I know I am a white person who likes the Wayans brothers, but I thought surely this event may bring out some more black people. Just as you may expect mostly white people at a country music concert I guess.

It is very full. They seat us with a black couple. Why? Because I’m with a black person?

Shawn Wayans comes out first and remarks on how many white people are in the audience. “Welcome to Orange County,” he says. It’s true. I think to myself about all the times I walk the dog, or go do errands, or go to a restaurant in the OC. Not a lot of black people around.

I say to Violet that I apologize in advance if it is raunchy. I have no idea what topics they will do. Well, almost the ENTIRE show was about sex. Violet was laughing and seemed to be having a good time but I wasn’t sure if this was a bad idea or not. I didn’t have a problem with sex jokes. Was she going to go back to the Program Coordinator and say that I was an evil she-devil trying to turn a nice churchgoer to the dark side? Was she going to be emotionally scarred forever?

I hope you all understand that my talking about race is only to voice my thoughts on the subject and I definitely hope not to offend anyone.

Earlier that week, I had watched the recap of “Real Housewives of Atlanta.” I know, it’s very cheesy but I am glued to it like watching as car crash you are not supposed to be interested in.  The commentator says that a viewer commented how Kim talked so disrespectfully to her assistant. The discussion got intense, talking about how some felt that Kim was talking to her like a slave. Kim says that she doesn’t notice color. She says she doesn’t care if you are black, green, purple or whatever. Then, the lawyer chick says that it has not been long since the black movement and that black people notice race. “It’s easy for you to say you don’t notice color. You are a white woman.” Wow. She just made a HUGE point. And I, being a dumbass, never thought of it that way. I was brought up not to think about color. My mother dated some black men. I had a black babydoll. I babysat for an inter-racial couple. (By the way, their kids were GORGEOUS). But it IS easy for white people to say they don’t care about race. We are in a white world. We walk around with the confidence that no one is going to have a problem with our color. We already have something over others. But black people probably notice color IMMEDIATELY. Of course, I can’t speak for black people, nor should I. But we must acknowledge that they have a very different experience than us and to say that “Color shouldn’t matter” is just ignorant. Yes, it shouldn’t matter. But it sure the hell does.

And now, here comes the zinger. This may get me into BIG trouble but WHY is President Obama called black? He is a mixed race person. He has dark skin but his mother is WHITE. It pisses me off that he is called black. Why, you ask. Oh I’ll tell you why!! I can’t wait to tell you why!

BECAUSE AMERICA IS A MELTING POT. There. We should be CELEBRATING the fact that Obama is of mixed race. He epitomizes why America was created. You go to Japan, and you will see a sea of Asians, you go to Egypt, and you will see a whole bunch of middle easterners. But, you go to America and you will see EVERYTHING. Maybe not in little Podunk towns in Connecticut where it’s all white, or parts of Alabama that are all black, but certainly in major cities. Why can’t all of America be as diverse as New York??? If I were black, I would be on the next plane, or train or whatever to a big city that had all colors.

We go see Water for Elephants. Her pick. There is an ad for “The Help” – based on the bestselling book about black maids and their white families they serve. I am uncomfortable. I would think this movie was interesting no matter who was sitting next to me and would be intrigued by it. But considering the circumstances, I feel weird.

We go try to buy “The Help” after at Borders. It is closed. Oops, I forgot that Borders are closing. We’ll have to get that so we can both read it and discuss. We go eat. She tells me about her brother who is just out of jail. They had him in the psyche ward because they couldn’t diagnose him right. He sounds like a troubled, angry young man, not a crazy person. She is very concerned about him. She is the one most put together in her family.

Scene from "The Help." Can't wait to see it.


She tells me she is going to see a guy. He is 25 and a sax player. He has worked with many top bands doing music for TV shows at Warner Bros, Universal, etc. A musician? Hmm.. She then tells me hos doing his Masters in Engineering. Why should I be surprised by this? This girl has it together. Why did I assume she would be dating someone less?

The food item I bring for her today is GUMMI VITAMINS!! She had said she loved them and I don’t want to traumatize her too much with weird vegetables. She is thrilled. She loves them and had said she ran out. I also got her coconut oil. She is really excited about these things and I am so glad to be able to get them for her. It makes me feel good.

We part, both feeling pretty happy about our day.