Hi Ladies!

Ho Ho Ho and Fa La La!

24 days till Christmas!!

I love holiday stuff – even the umm…err…. Colorful stuff.

When the “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer” song comes on, I chuckle. When JT offered his “Dick in a Box,” I laughed until I cried.

Watch Dick in A Box

But last night’s play? Well….

I wanted to do some fun things to get us in the holiday spirit, so when I came across a review for the play “The 8 Reindeer Monologues,” I got excited. Here was the description:

Accusations, rumors and all-out attacks are flying fast and furious around Santa’s toyshop this holiday season. Go behind the tinsel and hear the truth about Santa straight from the eight reindeer who know him best. When a doe says “No”, she means “No Way, Sucka!”

“The funniest (and filthiest) Christmas show in town.
this is the naughtiest fun you’ll have all holiday season.”
– Stage Scene LA

It sounded fun, a little dirty and unexpected. So I bought tickets for me and my husband. The theater was tiny, which I expected. This was a little theater type of play. The show started and I liked the first reindeer – Dasher. He was funny, ballsy and good acting. But THEN, as each reindeer came out to do their monologue, it turned into a story about Santa being a pedophile and a rapist. Well Mistle My Toe!!!! I was in shock. I appreciate sarcasm and dirty humor. I like 30 Rock and L’il Wayne’s nastiest lyrics but turning Santa into a sicko?

It’s too bad they had to go THERE. The play would have been funny enough with the characters talking about jealousy of Rudolph, elves being crazy and Mrs. Claus being a bit of a drunk. That, to me, is all good-natured fun. But why throw Santa to the wolves? He’s a fun guy. He’s fat, he’s harmless (or so I thought).

There was one particularly disturbing scene where one reindeer acts out Santa putting a kid on his lap and preceding to ummm.. get excited. It really was gross. In fact, I don’t know if I can ever see a mall Santa Claus or any other with a kid on their lap and not think of that scene. Eeeww. I honestly think I may have walked out except that the actors were 6 feet away from me and it would have been a tad obvious if we were to leave.

 When Vixen came on and talked about her being raped by Santa, I really could not believe what I was watching. Are people really this sick? Who is this writer to be so incredibly dark? Writer Jeff Goode is one sick puppy.

The play is in its EIGHTH year of running!! So someone must like this really grotesque account of a holiday icon.

The play also could use some work. Some of the reindeer are totally misnamed. Cupid the gay reindeer? HELLOOOO. The gay one should be Prancer!!

Click here to see some of 8 Reindeer Monologues

On the way home, my husband and I had fun thinking up other reindeer characters and their dilemmas. There is so much the writer could have done without making it creepy. Suddenly, “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” came on and I cringed. Thank you damn play for putting ugly thoughts in my head about dear old St. Nick!!