Hi all you strong women!
I just had lunch with a woman who impressed the pants off me! Well, I was wearing a dress soo….. It’s an expression!
My friend is getting a divorce. Hard times. After 20-something years of marriage. It’s probably the hardest thing she has ever had to do. It will change her life forever. And you know what? She is ready for it! Sure, she is not looking forward to all the final court stuff or having to leave her house and joining the “single” life. But she is definitely ready to take control of her happiness and her future. And I commend her for having the guts to do it.
I was expecting our lunch to be tough. This is such a big deal and I wasn’t sure how upset she would be. I was amazed to find her standing tall. Perhaps she was putting up a bit of a brave face, but we usually can talk pretty openly so I think she would have told me if she was scared or overwhelmed with emotion that can be associated with divorce. She looked gorgeous, as always! I tell her that she will have so many suitors – she’s so pretty! She blushes and just says “Well… thanks.” I really don’t think she knows how beautiful she is. Bright sparkly blue eyes, gorgeous skin, beautiful figure. She looks like she stepped right out of a Ralph Lauren ad. She has no wrinkles or the thick neck and sometimes double chin that I have. I am very jealous of her neck and chin.
Divorce is an interesting thing, not that I wish it on anyone but it can do weird things to people. It can make them overly sensitive. It can make them ferociously angry. It can make them downright loony. I certainly think my friend is doing the right thing. Her husband is a dog and she is truly a saint for what she has put up with. She is your quintessential pleaser. I wish I had more of this trait. But in the wrong hands, which she was with this guy, this humble, loyal personality can be tortured and ruined. If I was her, with my personality, I would be SO bitter and very angry. But you know what my friend is? Relieved and walking towards serenity. Isn’t that amazing? I am not half the woman she is. I would be hating every man near me and be happy to tell everyone about it – which is EXACTLY how my mother (birth mother) is about men. I grew up with her telling me that all men are pigs. All men are horrible. My mother lets her anger eat her up. It’s a sad thing. It’s also amazing that I was able to trust men and get married to such a wonderful man, having grown up with such a negative, tainted view around me. But we learn from other’s mistakes.
As we eat our lunch, my friend talks about her marriage history and where she should have seen signs, etc. I tell her to give herself a break. We live in “smoke and mirrors” zone when it comes to love and other things in life. The important thing is that she is ready to get out of a bad thing. And that takes guts and strength.
I also was astounded at how unaffected she seemed about men. Sure, we talked about how she will be guarded and skeptical with men in the future – that’s only normal and expected. Once bitten, twice shy. But the fact that she is hopeful to one day be married again and love someone is just so terrific! I was filled with such joy listening to her talk about the future. Her heart may have been wounded, but it has not been killed.
You go Wonder Woman!! May love and happiness be right around the corner.