Yes lades, it continues….

“IF a Man Answers”

I recommend you rent an old movie called “If a Man Answers.” In fact, you can watch the entire movie here on Youtube!


Even though it is silly and ridiculous, it is also hilarious and can be educational. I get a real kick out of it. It stars Sandra Dee as a young precocious girl trying to find love. I feel just like her (just add 20 years and some modern advances in society). In the very first part of the movie, you learn (through campy old movie ways) that you shouldn’t be a Ho because men don’t want to marry a Ho. You also learn that men love to talk about themselves. Both of these things are true I believe. Sandra Dee and her co-conspirator, her French mother, are hilarious as they run circles around the men, controlling the conversation, yet still letting the man believe that he has control. What a skill!

When Sandra Dee marries Bobby Darin, she struggles as a newlywed trying to convince her new hubby that they are in bliss. He does not treat her with the adoration and passion she so deserves (I understand completely!). Her mother, a savvy Frenchwoman, gives her a book to help which is actually a book on how to train your dog!! And what’s most entertaining is that the tips work. Simple things like “giving him praise for doing something right.” For a dog, this would apply after telling him to sit or stay. But for a guy, this can be EVERYTHING from taking out the trash to giving you some extra attention downtown in bed. It sounds so simple but believe me, I was not brought up to think that men needed all this stroking. They do. I was brought up a Bostonian so I understand completely the stuffy, conservative side of Sandra Dee’s personality combined with her desire to be adventurous and avant-garde. Thank goodness for her French mother.

Treat him like a…??!!

I have a double whammy against me because I am very sarcastic so it’s my nature to want to make a joke of a situation first as opposed to being sympathetic. My boyfriend hurts his arm at the gym? I will be sooo happy tease him for a week making machismo jokes when I’m sure he would much rather have me go get some ice and say “There there.” This is why it is impossible for me to find a man. I need someone strong enough to laugh off my little quips and not be stewing over the lack of compassion. I am just not good at throwing pity parties. I realize I need to work on that.

Marriage counselor M Gary Neuman wrote a book on the topic of cheating called “The Truth About Cheating.” CNN reported on his findings: What’s the number one reason men cheat? Ninety-two percent of men said it wasn’t primarily about the sex. “The majority said it was an emotional disconnection, specifically a sense of feeling underappreciated. A lack of thoughtful gestures,” Gary says. “Men are very emotional beings. They just don’t look like that. Or they don’t seem like that. Or they don’t tell you that.” He continues on to say that the “other woman” “makes them feel different. Makes them feel appreciated, admired,” he says. “Men look strong, look powerful and capable. But on the inside, they’re insecure like everybody else. They’re searching and looking for somebody to build them up to make them feel valued.”

See what I mean? If the guy doesn’t get the “Gee honey, you are so great” from you, he will go find it somewhere else. Their egos require it. So watch this little quirky movie and listen up ladies. Just as you encourage and reward your dog, so too must you treat your man affectionately after a job well done. And, at the very least, the movie will give you a few good laughs!