Happy Glorious Weekend Ladies!!!

I had my first outing with my mentee from Orangewood Children’s Foundation!!

Every girl loves getting her nails done!

I ask her what she wants to do for her first outing and she says she wants to get her nails done. I chuckle. In the orientation, the Program leader had talked to us about outings and made some suggestions. They said that many of the girls will ask to get their nails done. They also said that you are not responsible for paying for them for everything and that there are many free activities like hiking, museums (free days), walking around Farmer’s Markets, etc.

Now, for all who know me, I like to do stuff. I am always looking for fun events. Theater, horseback riding, cooking class, I love it all. I had already told myself that I was going to expose my mentee to some very cool stuff, and I also told myself that I can’t go overboard. I have a tendency to do that. Just ask my sister how much stuff I buy my niece. I promise myself that I will exercise some restraint.

I tell her nails are fine and suggest that we go for Thai food after. She seems taken aback that I want to do both but is very happy about it. I do some research online to try to find a salon and Thai place that is between where we both live. It’s not so easy because I need a place that does Shellac which is a fairly new technique and not many salons do that. She needs a fill, she has acrylic nails, and most places do that.

For the sake of not confusing you, I am going to call my mentee Violet. I will not give her real name. I feel guilty enough writing about my experiences. But I do think it is an interesting journey and I want to share it with you, so Violet it is. I find a salon that seems good enough and there is a Thai place about 2 blocks away that has gotten good recommendations online. I book our nail appointments. I text Violet and tell her the time and place and she says she is excited.

I get to the salon first and they start my nails. The same woman is doing both of us and so I had to come earlier. I look around. The salon is nice. Big and comfortable, your typical local salon. Violet arrives and looks adorable. She is wearing black tights with jean shorts over them and black combat-type boots and a striped sweater. She walks around to check out the place. She is impressed how big it is and wants to see the hairdressers at work (she does love hair!). The woman doing my nails is soooo chatty and hilarious and is the stereotype of the manicurist. She is talking about her ex-husband and drama. Love it. I finish and Violet sits down. It is clear that it has been a while since she has had her nails done. We’ll take care of that.

I go to get some water and this is where I notice it. There is not ONE black person in the entire salon except for Violet. Wow. I would have never noticed that. I guess I am hyper-aware of color because I want Violet to feel comfortable.

My mentee tells me that she is impressed by how much work I did to find a place, etc. She is not used to it. She seems flattered that I have taken so much time and effort and I smile widely. I am very happy to make her happy and to make her feel special. That’s what a mentor is all about!

YUM!

After nails, we go to eat Thai Food. It is my mentee’s favorite. We sit down and I ask her what she thinks of her nails. She says she really likes them. Then she says that is the first time a white woman ever did her nails. Wow. This type of situation is something I would have never encountered before. The woman was super nice and did a great job so there was no bad thing about the experience, but it was something that my mentee definitely noticed. It wasn’t a place where they were all vietnamese or what you might expect (yes, I am stereotyoing, sorry). It was more of an OC behind-the-orange-curtain place, meaning all middle-class white women – the employees and clients. Very interesting. We order and my mentee orders her shrimp without veggies. I give her a disapproving look. I see that we are going to have to work on nutrition.

I know that part of being a mentor is teaching her and opening her to new things, so I tell her that I am going to bring her a new food item every time we meet for her to try. She looks nervous. I give her Quinoa. She looks at it like it is from Mars. I tell her it is a grain like rice. She looks skeptical. I tell her it is harmless and tastes kind of like brown rice. She says she will try it. I also bring her a whole bunch of magazines. I get so many subscriptions. She is very excited about that!

She says she did not know what to wear and had tried to find something conservative. CONSERVATIVE??!!! I take offense to that!!! I don’t think I am conservative. I may like my Lilly Pulitzer and all that, but I also have leopard tights and hot pink shoes. Now that I am over 40, I have been dressing more low key. Is living in suburbia getting to me?

I tell her she should wear whatever she wants and be herself. I like funky clothes. Of course, I say. “If you are dressing like a whore, I am going to tell you.” She laughs.

As I drive home, I think about why I noticed that there were no black people in the salon. Was I being ridiculous?