Hello Sexy ladies!!
It’s that time again Ladies!! Time to live vicariously through me on the pole. Of course, I would rather that you were all taking the S Factor class so you truly knew how amazing it is, but I’m happy to share my experience with you, even if it is purely for my entertainment, and hopefully yours.
It is rainy out and icky. A sweatshirt and sweatpants day. So that is what I throw on. Of course, I am wearing my hot pink booty shorts underneath and my “L.A. Loves Me” tank top. I get to class and the ladies are talking about the next series. We are about to finish series two. I can’t even BELIEVE I am at level 2!! That’s crazy. Most think they will continue. I want to as well. We all are pretty much hooked on this.
We have a substitute teacher. This makes me nervous. Our group is very tight. We’re like a pack of wild horses and to let a new one in is a bit unsettling. She is a pretty Asian girl. Petite and can bend like Gumby. We begin the usual way, with dark lights and warm up.
She does the class a bit different which mixes it up a bit and I’m kind of digging this. She has us roll on our stomachs and do a hip exercise that is (ahem), a bit racy. The other instructor hadn’t shown us this move!! See ladies – variety is good. New teacher – new stuff.
We are doing stomach exercises, doing crunches with our legs in a sexy bicycle in the air move (they call it the Prance). I am looking at my stomach. I do not like the way it poofs out. Ugh. I think one of the hardest parts of exercising is acknowledging your body. That’s why you see women wearing big baggy sweatshirts. You can hide what is bothering you. But when you are working out, you are focusing on your body, and that means your problem areas. It is tough. But this class is for me to enjoy and they keep telling us to not be critical of ourselves. So I try to stop obsessing.
The tricks are getting harder. The upper arm strength is really needed for the pole and we are trying our best. Today, we are learning the SNAKE. It is UPSIDE DOWN. We have to be UPSIDE DOWN on the pole. The instructor had told us last week about this and I had seriously considered wearing my bike helmet. Or wrapping my head in bubble wrap. I was very nervous about this trick. One of the ladies jokes that her husband had offered her his hockey helmet. We laughed but I thought to myself that this was probably a good idea.
Do you remember the last time you were upside down??
I slink back behind the other ladies, which is hard because I’m one of the tallest. There is NO WAY IN HELL that I will be the first to do the SNAKE. I am terrified. I need to see that one of the ladies can do it and doesn’t break her neck in the process before I attempt it. The instructor says she will be spotting us and not to worry. Yeah, but she’s about 5’2 and a bird-like creature. Good luck with my 5’9 linebacker frame. We get to different stations and practice our other pole tricks. The Firefly which I love. The Ballerina – got that down. The Corkscrew is tough. I try it several times and feel a burning sensation on my left wrist. While trying to spin on the pole, skin can chafe, a lot. That is going to leave a mark.
One station is to practice climbing the pole. Not my favorite. At all. I can not climb. I know it is because this requires a strong core, right in your center, which is the very place that is my key problem area. I do not have strong stomach muscles and my tummy has always been where my fat goes first. I’m built like a Kangaroo. I have a built-in pouch and there is always something in it! I try to climb but it is just pathetic. I joke again how I am going to put a ladder in my act. I’m not kidding. How am I going to do the Snake with zero core strength??!!
It is almost my turn and I am really getting frantic. Of course, I don’t show it. I can tell others are nervous too but no one says anything. The woman in front of me waiting for her turn says “This is definitely new.” Quite an understatement if you ask me. We discuss the Snake and how the last time we were hanging upside down was probably on the jungle gym. I did gymnastics so I vaguely recall hanging from the bars when I was about 12. That was quite a long time ago. Adults just don’t go around hanging upside down. At least, not in my world.
All the ladies seem to do the Snake just fine, so my confidence is much better. My turn comes up and I do it right away! Just like that. And I LIKE it!! It’s fun. I am surprised how easy it is. Of course, we do have our teacher spotting us, and helping my ass up that pole, but still. The strength is mostly in your legs, which I do have thank goodness. You grip the pole with your legs as you dangle upside down. What was I so worried about? It is amazing how we can psyche ourselves out so much about things we don’t know. It’s a shame because I think it’s why most people don’t try new things. This is why I love this class so. Who knew I would be hanging upside down on a pole?! Genius.
Giddy from our successful snake tricks, we do our dance routine. We put on our stripper shoes and it’s so dark, I can’t even see the clasp of my shoe. I have to get out my phone and use the light to put my shoe on. I wasn’t kidding when I said they keep the studio dark. All the ladies are in rare form today. I put on a black lace top over my nude colored bra. We are encouraged to bring some sexy outfits, so I’m trying my best. My friend has her fishnets on. You go girl.
I have to say, I rocked the routine! It helped that they played a hip hop song. I swagger out of the class feeling like a Badass. Class is goooood.
