Bonjour Ladies in the Pink!!

I am well into my S Factor course and feeling dancer-esque. I want to dance like the Black Swan, I want to go buy a bunch of Danskin stuff, I want to blast Opera in my living room and jump around. Of course, this dancing is not exactly Baryshnikov, but it makes me feel like I am in tune with my body in ways that other exercise classes couldn’t.

I did it. I wore the pink booty shorts. I have underwear bigger. They barely cover my ass and I am thankful for the very VERY dark lights in class that make you quite comfortable. There is no way I would be wearing this in fluorescent lighting! I’m feeling tired today. Everyone around us has been sick and both me and my husband are functioning at half-mast. I put some blush and lipstick on to “get in the mood” and jump in the car.

As soon as I get to class and put on my pink legwarmers, I feel good. I know why I’m here. To feel sexy and confident. In the warm up, the instructor Lisa tells us often to stroke our hair – feel our hair on our face, etc. It’s so new to me because I always have my hair back when I work out. Even when I walk the dog in the morning, I must have a headband or something. I hate hair in my face. But, in this class, having my hair down and letting it fall over my face is so freeing, so personal – I am in a hair cocoon. It is actually comforting.

We practice the Firefly and Ballerina on the pole. They seem effortless to me! I am no acrobat or swan, but I can do the moves now without feeling like I have no idea what I’m doing. I feel a surge of power in my gut that makes me flutter. It’s like an addiction. The first time I tried candy. I am really hooked on that pole. A woman in my class commends me on my “whipping of my hair” while I do the firefly. I beam. We put on our shoes. I am so wobbly today, I don’t know what the hell is going on. I go slow and just tell myself to not worry about looking stupid. We have been learning a routine which is very very cool. “Dirty Diana” comes on which is one of my favorite songs and I can feel the sexiness oozing from my pores. Extremely liberating.

Part of the routine we learn today is to stare at a chair where your “ahem” target would be sitting watching you. I actually feel myself blushing when I think of someone sitting there watching me dance. I used to love it when the boys would stare at my moves on the dance floor at the clubs. So why now am I so timid? Can I do this? Can I do my own show without feeling embarrassed? How do I stop self-judging? I imagine my husband sitting there in the chair. I am dancing for him. THAT I can do.

After class, I throw on my hiking pants over my booty shorts and a plain black shirt. No time for basking in my “afterglow.” Too many errands to do today. But I feel great – stretched, whole, enlightened. And that is a wonderful feeling.
We are told that next week, we start stripping. WHAT??!! We will learn to take off our shirt. We can wear layers so that we are not actually going naked. Well thank god for that!

NOTE: Eventhough I just started taking the S Factor class, it seems that all things stripper are invading me. My friend went to go see an old school Burlesque show in L.A. Supposedly amazing. Burlesque shows are all the rage now. So is it still art when the dancer is naked? And I read in this Sunday’s New York Times about “Make it Rain” – guys who go to strip clubs and let hundreds of dollar bills “rain” on a stripper. Okay. Must be very empowering for the men. But if I were the woman, I’d be feeling like the monkey dancing while the monkey grinder plays the music, I have to do my little show and then go collect my tip. Not the most appetizing scenario. Of course, perhaps the idea of being “showered with gifts” is not too far a concept. Hmmmmm….My internal dilemma continues.

LADIES – Where does attracting the opposite sex and using your power of being a woman stop and feminism and being acknowledged for your brain and being taken seriously begin? It is a struggle I have often. I can’t stand when women say they want to be equals with men. We will never be equal because it is comparing apples to oranges – or flowers to meat. Yes, men are the meat here. My husband is a delicious big juicy steak. Meat is obvious. It is hearty. It does exactly what it is intended to do. Flowers are delicate, wild. They need extensive care yet they can thrive in the toughest conditions. They are gorgeous and sexy. They are beautiful and desirable. They can be crushed. They grow and develop and have different stages. They are all different. GO and be that flower you are meant to be and quit being a steak! Celebrate your femininity. I am a pink peony. What flower are you? Georgia O’Keefe – I commend you!!!